Getting To The Diagnosis...

How would I describe unseen symptoms to the neurologist…and in a foreign language? Suddenly I felt almost foolish and wondered if I was taking this too far. I wanted to leave all of these troubles behind me and accept the fact I had been overcome with anxiety and suffered from a simple ear infection. I wanted to feel better, but deep inside of me I knew…I knew something was terribly wrong.

Fortunately, my neurologist kept probing and searching for a sign of trouble. I almost giggled as she conducted numerous reflex tests – I never knew I had so many reflex points on my body. I performed all of the coordination tests without any sign of trouble. My hearing was fine…my senses felt hot and cold equally on both sides of my body…there were no signs of trouble as she gazed deep inside my eyes with special glasses. The only issue she could come up with was my eyesight - which was below average and I should go get them checked.

The Wait...

Silvia accompanied me on my second doctor’s visit. Her concerned look as I emerged from the doctor’s office turned fearful as I told her I needed to make an appointment with a neurologist. I knew she was extra sensitive to this type of news, because her mother has been battling multiple sclerosis for some time, and Silvia could sense what I wouldn’t allow my mind to consider.

On Thursday afternoon, July 30th, I made an appointment to see a neurologist for the following Monday morning. I simply needed to wait for the weekend to end, and then I would finally move toward getting some answers. But waiting was not so simple, as my symptoms continued to worsen, and sleeping through the night became a greater challenge. My body was filled with anxiety as I knew something was wrong…something serious. I still could not bring myself to consider ms as a diagnosis, but did begin to seriously consider other maladies such as a brain tumor or cancer.

I was a mess.